Pain, Love and Comfort
by Jemicious
Summary: My predictions on Clare's cancer storyline. -"I'm ready to go for an adventure." Clare half smiled. "I know you are, we're going to make this through." I turned off her lights and closed her door. -
1. Chapter 1

**I came up with this story on a Sunday afternoon and I didn't really plan on writing it, but two anonymous tumblr bloggers convinced me to write it, so here it is! It's my prediction on Clare's cancer storyline. I'm very "excited" (that's not really the correct word) for that storyline in the actual show. I'm doing some research about leukemia, if I ever happen to be completely off in the next chapters, please tell me. I'm trying to be as right as I can. Okay that's it for now, enjoy this first chapter of ****Pain, Love and Comfort.**

Washington square park on a sunny afternoon is always a good idea. I bought a great book, a Chuck Palahniuk in the new bookstore near NYU and a bottle of water from a guy off the streets. The first 3 weeks in New York have been great, the Brett Barnett movie was going good, it's nearly finished but my job is done. Now I still have 6 weeks left till my first semester at NYC, I signed up for some summer sessions. I spotted an empty spot on the benches next to the fountain. I looked around and I was surrounded by couples, it made me miss my Clare even more. My thoughts wandered to our prom night, the night she decided to sleep with me, I remember her loving touches, her loving gazes. This great memory got interrupted by a phone call from her. the smile on my face grew as I answered.

"hey babe, I was just thinking about you."  
"hi.." I could hear there was something wrong. I got up from my slouchy position and sat up straight.  
"what's wrong?" no answer, the silence was unbearable. "babe, what's wrong? Answer me!" I started panicking  
" I need you to come home." She burst into tears. I barely understood what she was saying. "what happened?"  
"the hospital called, Eli. You need to come home." I got up, collected my stuff and ran to the NYU campus. "Clare, what are you talking about? Why did the hospital call?"  
"I can't tell you over the phone" she cried out louder "just come home, please, please. I need you." She hung up, I felt myself getting dizzy, the room started spinning and I had to hold onto something or I'd fall down, but there was no time. I remembered that the flight to Toronto left at 5.30PM, that means I still had 3 and half hours left. I ran inside, took one of my duffel bags and threw in some of my clothes. My roommate entered the room while whistling. "dude, what are you doing? Are you okay? Do I need to call your dad or your mom? Do you need your meds?" Joe knew I was bipolar. He put his hands on my shoulders, I was still freaking out. "Eli, what's up." His dark brown eyes looked sternly in my eyes. I felt like I was 6 and I got intimidated by a 10-year-old who wanted to pick on me "tell me, what happened. Why are you crying?"  
I didn't realize I was crying until he mentioned it. "I don't know what's up. My girlfriend called, she said she heard from the hospital and she needed me to come home and I don't know what to do, what If something really bad happened, what if I lose her again." I ranted and Joe face changed as he tried to put the pieces together.  
"okay man, I'm driving you to the airport. There's no way I'm letting you go alone like this." He patted my shoulder. I started running around our dorm again, I was lost. My legs were moving but I was balancing between hell, heaven and earth. "Eli, focus. Stand still, do you have everything, passport, id, clothes, phone, laptop, meds, money"  
I'm glad Joe's here. I would've gone totally crazy without him.  
"crap, my passport." I rummaged through my closet  
"found it."  
"okay, you're ready to go? You're sure you didn't forget a thing?"  
"no, I got all the basics I need to get into Canada. Thanks man." We both ran outside. Luckily Joe's car was parked right in front of the school building. LaGuardia is a 30minute drive and traffic was easy on us, until we got to Williamsburg Bridge.  
"I'm sorry dude, but once we get into Queens, I can take some shortcuts to get you to the airport as fast as possible. Try calling the airline company to book your flight." I took a few, deep breaths to come to rest, I was on my way home, stuck in traffic but there was nothing I could do about it. I was on my way to see my Clare, I was going to be with her in less than 5 hours and everything would be okay, I kept telling myself. But I feel that it wasn't going to be okay.  
I heard a feminine voice through my phone.  
"yes, I would like to book a flight for the next flight to Toronto, leaving from LaGuardia Is that still possible?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2! This one went really easy to write.  
I want to thank everyone who already reviewed/followed this story. It was a very pleasant surprise to wake up with! **** Enjoy chapter 2! **

"let me check that for you. How many are you?"  
"it's just me. I don't care if it's business or economy. I just need to get on that flight. It's a family emergency."  
"you're lucky, only 1 seat left in economy." I was so relieved as I gave all my data. I noticed that we approached the airport . perfect timing.  
Joe rolled up the parking lot, parked his car in no time and we both ran inside to the AirCanada check-in gate.  
"hi, I'm Eli Goldsworthy. I called 10 minutes ago to book a flight to Toronto."  
"yes, I remember. Do you have any luggage to hand in?"  
"nop, I only got this duffel bag."  
"well then, here's your ticket. The gate, A13, closes at 4.45PM. have a nice trip."  
I took my ticket and turned back to Joe. "thanks man for the great help." I said to him  
"aight dude, I'm going to sound like a girl here, but please, text me when you land in Toronto. just so I know you're safe."  
" I will, thanks again. I couldn't have gotten here on time without your help. I'll pay for your gas when I get back."  
"no need to bro." he stretched out his arms for our self-invented handshake that this time ended in a quick hug with a firm tap on our backs.  
"now get through security and get to your gate, we didn't go through all of this for you to miss your flight because we were too emotional." That made me smile a little. Joe was also a student in the directors program. He showed me some of his work and it was actually pretty good. Joe's more of a comedy type, he's always in to crack a joke or to lighten the mood, like now.  
"I'm glad to see you didn't lose your smile. Now go!" he pushed me in the direction of the security. As eager I was to go home and see what's going on with Clare, part of me didn't want to go. I knew that there was something bad waiting for me. I stumbled to security and from that moment on, it seemed like everything was in fast-forward. Before I knew it, I was already boarding the plane to Toronto, I was already in my seat and we were already in the air. Ready to land in Canada. I remembered I forgot to call Bullfrog and Cece to tell them I was coming home. Public transport would be the only answer.  
The landing gear came in contact with the ground and we bounced up a few times. I thanked whoever is controlling the world from upstairs that they placed me almost right next to the exit. I immediately got up, took my duffel bag and ran off the plane onto the bus that would bring us to the main terminal.  
I skipped luggage claim since I only brought a carry on and ran to the exit. I turned on my phone to call my parents when I heard my name.  
"Eli, over here." It was my mom, she waved at me while yelling "Bullfrog, he's here." Within seconds, my dad appeared too. I ran to them. " how did you know I was coming?" I was kind off in shock.  
"your roommate called us." My mom said as she pulled me in for a tight hug. "remind me to thank that guy a million times for the things he did for me to get me here on time." I said "but there's no time for a family reunion I need to get to Clare."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for all the reviews/follows. It's so great to hear from you guys, the feedback is amazing! Here's my "plan" with this story: I'll update this story daily, until Sunday July 30****th****.  
then I'll update this once a week, most likely on Saturday because I have a summer job and I work very long hours. I won't follow the events that will happen on season 13. This is an independent story, only the cancer storyline is the same, so if anything happens to be the same, it's pure coincidental. Okay, that's it. Enjoy chapter 3! : -) **

"yeah, I called her mom but she didn't pick up, I left her a voice mail but I doubt she has already heard it, or maybe she just chooses to ignore me."  
the car drive from the airport to Clare's house seemed longer than the drive from our dorm to the airport even though it's both a 30 minute drive. I took out my phone and sent a quick message to Joe.  
_In Toronto. thanks for calling my folks, saved me a lot time. Also thanks for your big efforts this afternoon. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. _  
"honey, we're going to do some groceries and then go home. Call us if you need us to pick you up or anything else." My mom said as my dad took a left and turned into Clare's street.  
"thanks mom, dad. Really thank you." I jumped out of the car when it came to a stop right in front of her house. My pulse increased notable, my palms were sweaty. Then I realized I hadn't called Clare or Jake yet to tell them I was actually coming home. I rang their doorbell when I got a text.  
_you're very welcome dude. It's the least I could do.  
_I was about to answer when Helen opened up the door. Her eyes were red and puffy. Obviously she had been crying. Her mouth fell open with amazement. "you….. came." She sputtered out.  
"of course I did. I don't want to be rude here, but can I please come in, I want to see why Clare called and begged me to come home."  
"yes, please come in. Eli, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm so ecstatic that you're here. She's in her room. Jake's been sitting by her door ever she got that call from the hospital. She won't come out nor won't she open the door. Her cries are the only thing that come out. Maybe your presence will make her open her door." Helen rambled, her voice was filled with desperation and I still didn't know what this was all about. I ran up the stairs to Clare's door, where indeed, Jake was sitting. He leaned his head on her door, you could hear her sobbing, but they were muffled by the thick, wooden door. Jake looked up and he saw me standing there. His face was exactly as Helen's. desperate look with red, puffy eyes. He got up to make place for me.  
"Clare, babe. It's me, it's Eli. Please open your door. What's going on?" after 4 seconds of silence her door opened and I saw my girlfriend standing in the doorway. Her hair all messy with the reddest cheeks and eyes I had ever seen. I pulled her in a strong embrace. I softly kissed her temple multiple times and rubbed her back to make her relax and it helped. After a few minutes, her crying lessened. Without letting go of her, I placed us on her bed. With my back leaning against her headboard as she leaned against my chest. I gently placed my arms around her waist.  
"tell me now, what exactly happened?"  
I could tell her breathing became uneven again, and a new wave of tears was coming up. Before she could even start to cry again, I placed my right hand index finger next to her right eye, pressing her tears as a way of saying, crying won't solve a thing, talking will. Quite ironic of me to think that because I was the one that didn't want to talk about the Campbell incident a month ago.  
"babe, just tell me when you're ready."  
"when I was putting on my dress for prom, Alli felt this lump on my back. Both Jenna and Alli convinced me it was nothing but the next day, when I got that nosebleed when we got home and it wouldn't stop, my mom took me to see a doctor and he said that the nosebleed and that lump might point to leukemia. They did a test, and the results got in 5 hours ago. It came back positive. Now they want me to come down to the hospital to run some more tests, to see if I really have leukemia." Clare said in one breath. My world fell apart, that was something I definitely did not see coming.  
I was hurt that she didn't tell me about it before but I was more hurt about what she just said. And hurt is even an understatement. I was all torn up, I unconsciously wrapped my arms a little tighter around her waist, I wanted to protect her from all the bad things in the world but I was already too late. The bad things had already installed themselves in her body.


	4. Chapter 4

**I can't thank you enough for the reviews/follows/favorites on this story. You're all amazing. To answer '****adamtorresrules88****'s (cool username by the way) question, Adam will indeed be in this story. Him, Drew, Alli, Jenna and Connor will all be part of this story eventually. Just be a little patient : -) okay, enjoy Chapter 4!**

"when do you have to be at the hospital?" was the only thing I was able to get out of my mouth.  
"as fast as I could, but I'm pretty sure mom called to tell them that I can't make it today." Suddenly I felt wetness against my chest, Clare had turned around and had put her face on my chest.  
Helen walked in Clare's room at the very same moment that I was thinking about calling her in here.  
she sat next to Clare on her bed and placed her hand on her daughter's cheek.  
"honey, I think we should still see that doctor today."  
" I think you're mom's right. The faster they diagnose you, the faster you can be cured, the faster you can get home again." maybe I formulated my sentence a little wrong but I knew they both got the picture. Clare took a deep breath and lift up her face, her eyes met mine.  
"only if you come as well." She said.  
"I'm never leaving your side even if you're screaming that I need to leave.  
I'll always be right there with you." She wiped her tears away with her sleeve and got up, then she turned to her mom.  
"did they tell you I needed to pack anything?"  
"well, they're definitely going to keep you overnight just for observation so just your PJs and fresh pair of underwear." Helen said, the desperate look on her face changed, to what I don't know.  
More like softened. She was probably happy that her daughter had finally given in to be treated.  
"I'm going downstairs to call the hospital, tell them we're coming." Her face changed again, to scared. She gave Clare a kiss on her auburn curls and went downstairs.  
I also got up and pulled her in for a hug again, "it's going to be okay, babe, it's going to be okay."  
She let go of me and I placed my lips on hers. It lasted for a couple of seconds, then I reminded her about the hospital. She opened her closet and threw in the first things she came across, then ran to the bathroom for some hygienically stuff and threw it in the bag too.  
Lastly, she took her teddy bears and placed them in the bag too. " for good luck" she said as she zipped it up, lifted it from her bed and threw it over her shoulder. "I'm ready to go for an adventure." Clare half smiled.  
"I know you are, we're going to make this through." I turned off her lights and closed her door.  
We met Jake in the hallway who was also going with us to the hospital. When he saw his sister, I'm leaving out the step because the last few months they have really adapted to the brother-sister relation, he ran to her and hugged her as tight as he could until Glen yelled that it was time to go.  
Clare, Jake and I took our seats in the back and I put my hand around her shoulders.  
She rested her head on my chest and gave Jake a smile. Fatigue must have kicked in because she closed her eyes after a couple seconds when we got into the car. But she didn't get much time to catch some sleep because we got to the hospital sooner than expected. The Princess Margaret Hospital came into sight and Glen parked his car in the underground parking lot.  
When the car came to a stop, all of us became very quiet. The radio wasn't playing anymore, no background noises, nothing.  
Helen and Glen went to the hospital desk to sign up Clare. A nurse came to take Clare to the examination room, she instructed us to go wait in the waiting room .  
Time passed by slowly, I played with the plastic cup in my hands. Those 3 cups of coffee did me no good. I looked around the waiting room to see Jake completely out like a light.  
Helen and Glen were also starting to doze out.  
My Clare was somewhere in these rooms and I couldn't go in to be with her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, before I start, I should probably give you a reason why I went totally M.I.A on you guys.  
The first two weeks of July were pretty hectic, I had a summer job at a Kids Day Camp ( just like in Degrassi, we call it 'speelpleinwerking' in Belgium) and it was tiring! Really fun too, but TIRING and I worked very long days from 8.30AM till 10 PM. At first I thought I would be able to update this story after I was done working but I thought wrong. As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed, too tired to do anything. The third week of July, I had my week off so then it was the perfect time to continue this story, but my computer thought otherwise and completely blocked after a couple minutes when I wanted to use it. Then from July 21****st**** till August 12****th**** (which is today hihi) I went on vacation with my family and I had no WIFI or internet connection at our house. Don't ever go to the French Pyrenees if you're addicted to the internet. Internet connection is rare, well at least where I stayed. I had a few spots where I could connect to the internet but only on my phone. But I did bring my laptop, so when I had a few spare moments ( in between all the hiking and swimming we did) I continued writing this story so I can update more regularly now. I feel pretty bad that I took me over a month to give you guys another chapter because it seems that Clare's cancer storyline is almost over, but I hope that doesn't stop you from reading my story because I have some pretty good ideas from this one!  
Again, I apologize for the long wait and I hope this chapter can make it up to you and I PROMISE I will update more often.**

**Disclaimer: I did do a summer job but I didn't earn enough to buy Degrassi, so I still don't own it…. At least not yet ;) (and probably never will, but hey, I can keep dreaming right :p)**

All the worst case scenarios popped into my mind, what if the nurse or doctor comes out and says she can't be cured anymore, or that she's already… dead. I gulped. My stomach started acting up, I ran to the bathroom and bowed my head over the toilet. I hurled out all of my stomach contents. An elderly nurse rushed into the bathroom with a glass of water. "Are you okay, young man?" she asked. I felt my stomach calming down after 3 sips. "yeah, it's just. The stress took over. Weak stomach I guess." I replied, I turned around to face the nurse.  
"you received bad news?" she wondered  
"I still got no news at all, the waiting, the stress, it's all too much"  
"who are you here for, yourself, you mom, dad, girlfriend or boyfriend?"  
a questioning look on my face appeared then it changed to a smile.  
"nah, it's for my girlfriend, and it just sucks that I can't be with her right now."  
"get up, clean yourself up, keep waiting, and hope it's all going to be okay. That's all you can do right now."  
"I know." I flushed the toilet and got up, luckily I didn't get any barf on my shirt but my breath smelled like a cesspool. I thanked the nurse and I left the bathroom.  
I saw Jake run up to me. "hey, dude, you okay?" his eyes were as like he just smoked some pot.  
"I could ask you the same thing, did you smoke?" I felt myself getting mad, this was no time to get high.  
"what? No? that's how I always look when I wake up. Just give me 5 minutes, then I'll look as pretty as I always do." Jake smiled. "maybe now is not the best time to make jokes, sorry. " He added  
"no, it's okay. And I just didn't feel good, never give me 3 cups of coffee when I'm under stress. "  
"I'll remember it. Here, take a mint" He handed me a tic-tac. We both laughed until a door opened. Finally, Clare was there. She had her blankets pulled up to her shoulders. There was an IV in her left arm. Helen and Glen both got up and rushed to her bed that was being pulled by 3 nurses.  
"we're taking her to her room. The doctor left an hour ago and will come visit her first thing in the morning. Visiting hours are until 10.30pm and we can't have anyone of you staying over. You can come again tomorrow at 7.30 AM." The nurse with a visible scar on her left cheek that she tried to cover up with her long, brown curly hair said. What's the story about that I wondered.  
but all my attention went to Clare again, she looked so fragile in her hospital bed. The elevator ride was silent, and awkward too. Helen looked at her watch and let out a deep sigh.  
"I'm sorry madam, I know what you're thinking but it's the hospital's policy." The elevator came to a stop and the doors went open. The nurses put Clare in a room right next to the emergency exit and they quickly left the room. As we were about to go in, one of the nurses said to wait outside for a minute, they were placing a new IV in Clare's arm. They left the door open and Jake sneaked a peek but apparently quickly regretted what he did. I let Helen and Glen go in the room before Jake & I did. I noticed Jake had put his left hand on my arm. He had a strong grip. "what's up dude?" I asked him with a weird yet concerned look on my face. "I'm sorry. But seeing needles and IVs makes me a little light in the head, I'll hold onto you or I'd faint." Without thinking, I placed my hand over his hand for extra support. Right at that time, Glen turned around. He looked at the way how our hands were connected and had a small smile on his face. " needles aren't your thing eh Jake." We moved slowly forward to Clare's bed and Jake bowed his head to give his sister a kiss on her cheek. Clare also noticed the way our hands were connected. "Should I be worried? I mean, I'm only in the hospital for 3 hours and you're already hooking up with my brother. Can I trust you?" she giggled. There is something about her giggle that makes her so adorable. Her baby blue eyes met mine, the loving gaze that she had on her face made it so hard not to let go of Jake, grab her and kiss her. " trust me, he's not my type." I laughed. " dude, I might feel a little woozy but I can still hear everything you say." He shot back. We all laughed because he took my comment so serious. "okay Eli, I'll take Jake from here. We're taking him to the car before he faints. We'll be waiting in the car park for you. Don't take too long." Glen said. Helen had Jake in a steady grip, his face was as pale as cauliflower. He had his hand placed over his eyes and took deep breaths. Glen, Helen and Jake left the room and I took a seat on Clare's bed.  
"you know, I never really got to welcome you home." She said in a seductive tone.  
"now that you mention it, I do want my 'welcome home' ki.." I couldn't finished my sentence, she interrupted me with a chaste kiss and pulled back too quickly. " I don't feel welcome yet." I pulled her face to mine again, I kissed her with all the passion I could put into the kiss till we got interrupted by the nurse. " young man, it's time for you to leave. The patient has to rest." I got off the bed  
"I'll be back tomorrow morning. I love you."  
" I love you too Eli"  
"good night babe" I said while exiting through the door. I left the hospital with an ambiguous feeling, relieved that I was here and that I could take care of my Clare but also terrified. Terrified that all the help and treatment was already too late. Clare's a strong girl and she likes to be in charge but this is a situation beyond her control. I approached the car where I saw that Jake had taken most of the back seat.  
"Jake, be polite and sit straight." Helen commented her step son. " I'm sorry Eli. Jake will make place in just a second. We're still teaching him proper manners. It takes it a little longer for him to learn."  
"no problem Mrs. Martin." I said back politely. " please, call me Helen." She answered with a smile. As I took my seat in the car, I realized that Helen was actually genuinely nice to me. After all the bad things she must've heard about me, when I crashed my hearse, when I went completely crazy during opening night of 'Love Roulette', the whole Campbell-incident. It made me smile that she was trying to get along with me because I'm planning to be in Clare's life for the long run.


	6. Chapter 6

**And here's the next chapter, I could have uploaded it sooner if my laptop not decided to break down completely. But I got a new Macbook now, so I can continue this story. I'm still in a complete shock from last episode. SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen 'Honey' yet, but what the f***, Adam's dead. I cannot believe it, my beanie boy is gone. I wish this is just a joke; Drew's reaction completely broke me, Luke did an amazing acting job there! Okay, I could go on and on about how unfair this is but I won't, after all you're here to read the story and not to listen to my ranting. Thanks for all the reviews, hope you like this chapter too! **

Cancer. It really is cancer. And we did not misunderstood. The doctor said it loud and clearly. Rhabdyocoma… I read the leaflet the nurse had given us. Rhabdomysarcoma, that's what's going on in my Clare's body. The hospital room was silent. Except for Helen's silent cries and Glen's words of comfort. I stroke my hand over Clare's back, she was completely curled up against me. The door opened and a nurse with a large machine entered. She placed it next to Clare's bed and started unwiring all the cables.  
"young man, I'm going to have to ask you to let go of the lady and find yourself another seat because I need access." Luka, that's what it said on her name tag, said.

I found her not as friendly as the other ones. I took a seat on the other end of the bed and put my hands on Clare's foot, to still be connected to her. Luka took a bag with syringes from the cart and Jake immediately jumped up.  
"oy, needles. I'm leaving, I don't want to faint again.

I'm going for some coffee, anyone wants some?" Glen also got up from the couch .

"I'm going with Jake. Us, Martins aren't really good with such things."  
"this is going to hurt a little. You know what we are doing right now?" Luka asked  
"yes, I do. Chemo. I read the brochure." Clare answered coldly.  
"don't worry miss. After I give this injections, I'll wire those cables and then I'm finished. Don't move too wildly so they don't fall off.  
If you have any side effects, it's completely normal and you don't need to alarm anyone unless you really don't feel good."  
Clare only nodded.  
"my job here is done, I'll come check with you in a couple of hours.

Try to drink a lot of water. Stay hydrated." Luka placed a bottle of water on Clare's small table and then left the room.  
"so…" I said feeling a little uncomfortable. Even though Helen tried to make peace with me last night, I don't know where our newfound friendship stood. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries by letting her join the conversation I was about to start. As if she could read my mind, she got up and took her purse. "I'm going to join Glen&Jake for a coffee downstairs in the cafeteria, Eli you want something?"  
"no I'm good. Thank you" Helen gave us a smile when she left the room.  
When the door closed with a loud bang, Clare started giggling first then burst out into laughter. "since when did you and my mom became best friends?" she said between giggles.  
"she just asked if I wanted something to drink and she shot us a smile."  
" In mom-language that's the first step to become best friends." Clare started laughing again.  
I moved again to the other side of the bed and placed my hands over Clare's shoulder, intertwining her hands with mine. Again, she cuddled against me.  
it was nice and peaceful as if nothing happened, I had almost forgotten where we were until Clare started moving around.  
"what's wrong?" Clare turned around to face me, she opened her mouth but no words came out. She took a loud breath and started to tear up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so uploading more regularly failed big time. My summer job (I work at a diner) is more tiring than I thought it would be. Plus I'm suffering from a major writer's block. And Degrassi being on hiatus is definitely not helping. Okay here's the next chapter of Pain, Love and Comfort? Please r&r **

**THANK YOU EVERYONE!**

"you know, I will be in the hospital for 6 weeks for chemo therapy, maybe even longer if it gets worse. Do you really want to be here? I mean, you're starting your first year at NYU soon, I don't want you to miss out on that, it's been your dream since forever.

If you want to leave, then go because this is pretty much the only thing I can do while in the hospital."  
" Please. This is not something you have to worry about; I'm here to stay. I promise."

I emphasized 'promise' because I wanted her to know that I'm never leaving her side.

I made that mistake once and I'm not doing that again.  
"Clare, let me tell you something. During spring break, I had the best time ever.  
Our endless late night phone call conversations, our coffee breaks at the dot, trips to the lake, you spending the night multiple times.  
I loved it and I love you, I have never felt this way for someone and when the unfortunate Campbell accident happened, that hadn't changed but things between us did change. When I asked for a break, I felt… relieved for maybe 10 minutes.  
Then regret came, but I did not want to give in.

I thought it was better for the both of us. Until one night, I was rearranging my closet and I found a sweater of you.  
A stupid sweater made me smile, and then it hit me how much I missed you, how much I needed and wanted you. School was torture; I hated myself for letting you go, even more when you turned me down after the elections and at prom.

Until you gave in, what I felt then is indescribable. The same goes for how I felt at night.  
After all the things we've been through, when we thought we would go our separate ways, we ended up together and I could not be happier.  
I want to be with you, I wanted to be with you last year, I'm still with you today and I will be with you through everything. I can't tell you how much I love you, It hurts sometimes. But it's good pain. that's why Clare, I'm staying with you here and I'm not leaving your side. Ever." I took a deep breath. I had never done such thing, exposing my feelings.

That was exploring new territories.

I looked Clare in the eyes and her eyes were blinking, there stood a few tears in her eyes.

She brought her lips to mine and placed her hand on my chest. " I. love . you." She said and pressed her lips to mine.

The kiss was sweet and wanting. I bit her lower lip begging for entrance, which she gladly granted. My lips were where they most wanted to be, on hers.

A knock on her door interrupted our moment. She pulled away before yelling come in.

It was Jake.  
A slim face with unkempt hair peeked through the door.

His dark brown eyes were squinted. You could clearly notice that he hasn't gotten much sleep last night. "is the creepy nurse with the needles gone?" he sounded like a 5-year-old girl that was scared that there could be a scary clown in the room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Second upload of the night, because I kind of owe it to you guys. I'm not completely satisfied about this one, but I need transition chapters to the upcoming "drama an pain" enjoy chapter 8! R&R please. THANK YOU KIND PEOPLE **

"yes, she's gone." Clare laughed. She had her arms wrapped around my chest and hold onto her tightly.  
"thank goodness. She scares me. she's all like BOOM BOOM BOOM."  
He mimed an orangutan and walked to Clare's bed. He jumped on the bed end and started telling a story about a girl in the cafeteria who wanted a blueberry muffin but got a strawberry muffin instead.

It was probably the dumbest story ever, but it distracted Clare and that's probably why he told us. Not many minutes later, both Helen and Glen entered the room with a board game. Monopoly Disney edition.  
"' they got this down in the recreation room, I thought we could all play." Helen said  
"OH YEAH! Dips on Donald Duck" Jake exclaimed.  
Clare got up from my arms and took her token.

it was a pretty intense game won by Glen and Clare came in close second.  
I was third, Helen fourth and Jake ended up last.  
"Donald Duck did not bring you luck" Glen said to his son  
"DO NOT BLAME DONALD DUCK, I was just… I want revenge." Jake said.

It so funny how Jake can take things like this so seriously while the rest of us just sees this as a game.  
We played 3 more times and Jake never won.  
The last time, he ended up second and he looked satisfied knowing that he would probably never win from his dad who won every single game.  
I looked at my watch and noticed it was already 9.30PM.

I felt uncomfortable, we were having a good time and I did not want to ruin it, but I had to be at home at 10PM.  
"err… I need to leave." I awkwardly said. " my parents want me home by 10PM"  
" do you need a ride?" Helen offered. When she said that I felt Clare's leg kicking against mine. I immediately turned around to her and she raised her eyebrow.  
I knew what she was thinking.

I turned around to Helen again to answer her question.  
" the bus station is a block away, I'm home in 15 minutes." I said,  
" we'll drive you. It's no big deal. We have to get home too.

Glen and Jake, you have to get up early for that constructing job you have."  
"So I'm going to be all by myself tomorrow?" Clare asked, her tone was depressed.

Her happy tone from 5 minutes ago had changed quickly to sad. I knew what would cheer her up.  
"No you won't. I'll be here to entertain you and I'll bring company." I winked.  
Her face brightened immediately.  
"But I really have to leave now." I gave her a quick kiss on her sweet lips and left the room, the Edwards/Martin family followed quickly behind.  
While we were walking outside a cool breeze set up making my hair messy, I lifted my hand to rearrange my hair but I felt a strange hand on my head.  
"So cutie pie, whom are you bringing to entertain my sister? I hope it aren't strippers!" the strange hand belonged to Jake, him being taller than me required me to look up to meet his face so he could see my expression.  
"Oh no, you caught me! I was totally planning on bringing strippers to a hospital!"  
I said lethargic, I immediately looked over to Helen to see if she understood that I was kidding. When we got to the car, I was lost in my thoughts, hardly paying attention to what Jake was telling me.  
My house came into sight and before hopping out of the car, Glen and Helen both turned around to face me. "Eli" Helen spoke. "Thank you for being here with us, it's really difficult on everyone and Clare can use all the support she can get, so again, thank you. It's amazing that you left New York to be here with her."

I interrupted Helen before this could get too emotional, the situation has gotten to me and I was seconds away from breaking down. " it's what I had to do." I half-smiled; I opened the door and said goodnight.

While fetching my keys out of my pocket, I felt my phone buzzing. I put my keys in the lock but the door wouldn't open. I shook my keys a few times, then the door finally opened, hitting something on the other side. " AH, good gravy. That hurt."


	9. Chapter 9

**Still suffering from a major writer's block and the circumstances I'm under now aren't exactly the greatest. Last Saturday, someone whom I knew very closely passed away, school just started up again and it's been hectic + student council is starting on Monday so that's extra work! As soon as this writer's block leaves me, I'll update this story, I got a few ideas but I'm fully happy with them. So for now, enjoy chapter 9 of Pain, love and comfort! Thanks for all the support!**

I saw my dad with his hand over his forehead. " am I bleeding?" he pointed to the spot right above his right eye. It had a red shade but there was nothing major to see. " no baby, you're not bleeding." I said mockingly and he shot me a fake smile. "love you too dad" I said with a girly voice when entering the kitchen. Mom's potpie filled the kitchen with a delicious aroma, I had really missed this. I felt at home again. The pain, sorrow and worries disappeared like snowflakes for the sun, as I sat down and enjoyed dinner with my parents. They filled me in on everything I had missed over these 3 weeks, family stuff, stupid, funny things that happened to them but that was exactly what I needed. I needed that keep myself sane. After a relaxing dinner, I went upstairs and took a left to the bathroom; a hot shower would do the trick for a good sleep. I realized I had forgotten about the text I got when I got home. It was Adam to confirm for tomorrow. I had asked him and Imogen to come around noon for a distracting afternoon. Imogen said she had some fun things up her sleeve and Adam would make sure he's got some jokes. I hopped into the shower after replying to Adam's text. My thoughts wandered to sick Clare in the hospital, I quickly shook them off and replaced them with happy thoughts, like I was going to spend 3 fun hours with her in the morning before Adam and Imogen would come. My mom interrupted my thoughts by knocking on the bathroom door. "baby boy, I got a fresh pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, I'll put it on your bed, okay"  
"thanks mom, I'll be out in a minute" she closed the door and I opened up the shower curtain, wrapping a towel around my waist, then I brushed my teeth and went to my room. I put on my pajama and stood in the middle of my room. My dad appeared in the doorframe. " are you okay, kiddo?" he had a worried look on his face, he wore a dark grey Ramones shirt that had ketchup stains all over it. He took a step into the room and stood right in front of me. " you know, when you feel you can't handle it anymore, come talk to us. Please, talk to us boy." Bullfrogs put his hand on my shoulder and hold onto it tightly. " I will dad, I will." He pulled me in for a hug that left me breathless. Mostly because he had me in a strong grip. My bed looked so comfortable, before jumping in, I set my alarm for 8.30 AM, then threw my phone onto my nightstand and covered myself with my blankets.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Alarm clocks are horrible; the annoying sound put me in a bad mood. After I got dressed, I had a quick breakfast, left a note for my parents and left the house. Before heading to the hospital, I stopped at a smoothie truck, I couldn't arrive empty-handed plus a delicious smoothie in the morning is always a win. The large hospital building came into sight. The bus stopped and a rush of people left the bus including me. I walked with the smoothies in my one hand, a small present from my parents in my other hand and a backpack on my back to the hospital. When I arrived, I met the creepy nurse from yesterday. She smiled at me, pointing to my smoothies. " Good choice." She said; I smiled back and quickly made my way to the elevator, off to the 4th floor. Her door was ajar. I peeked through the door and then opened it with a great schwung. She looked up and her face brightened. " oh thank God, you brought smoothies, so much better than this hospital food." She pointed to the plate next to her bed. It was left untouched, the bread was still covered with plastic and the jam wasn't opened yet. I made my way to her bed, placed the smoothies next to untouched breakfast and bowed my head to kiss her. Right at that moment, another nurse I had never seen before entered Clare's room.  
"good morning young boy" she said with a pitched voice, it did not match her looks. She was small and a little chubby, had short brown hair, hazel eyes and wore a watch that was too big for her wrist. " so Clare, you're good for today." She said while she unwired the chemo machine. The nurse turned around and saw her breakfast. " you need to eat." She said sternly. " don't worry, I'll take care of that." I said to the nurse. " I'm counting on you."  
After she left the room, I got up and ripped off the plastic paper from the tray, I took the knife and spread some jam on the bread. " my parents bought you a present, you're not getting it until you eat these 2 sandwiches. Deal?" her hand moved for a second, she was hesitant but gave in. "fine, but only because I don't want to look stupid when your parents ask me if I loved their gift and I have to say that I didn't get it because I didn't eat my breakfast." I put the sandwich in her mouth and she giggled, that almost caused her to choke. "watch out, Clare, I don't know CPR" I laughed. "well, it's a good thing we're already at the hospital. " she didn't reply, instead she dropped her sandwich and looked at me with watery eyes. "what's wrong?" I said worryingly


End file.
